How to Write a Father of the Bride Speech

Write the speech your daughter and the wedding deserve

First cab off the rank! Many people, blogs, and articles will say, “don’t overshadow the groom or other speakers.” While this may be somewhat true, the best speeches (and the first speaker) have to start with a bang so that the audience is stirred, alert, and entertained, and ready for the next speaker. A big responsibility, but nothing you can’t achieve.

Let’s work our way through this.

Audience

Being a more mature gentleman than many at the wedding, you’re undoubtedly a little less worried about getting up in front of an audience. You may even be less concerned with what they think of you and your speech! Nonetheless, it’s important for your speech to appeal to your audience, but also to reflect who you are. Are you the life of the party, always telling questionable jokes? Are you more reserved and formal? Best to stick with what people expect from you, but prioritise your audience’s expectations. In other words — don’t take it too far. Ensure it appeals to them.

Theme

Before you put pen to paper, think about what you want to say. It’s too easy for most to simply write something “because they have to” without giving some thought as to what it is they are trying to achieve with this speech. Naturally, you’ll want to please your audience and the bride and groom, but consider getting more specific. It will make your speech content more focused, and it will be much easier to think of ideas.

Example

The Bride has had an eventful life. Bride’s qualities, along with all the memories, stories and life events have allowed the Bride to become the person she is today. This person is a perfect match for the Groom.

Hook

The starting words of your speech should pique the interest of your audience and have them subconsciously thinking, “Hmm, didn’t expect this. What’s going to happen next?”. Most people start with a “hi” and a “welcome”, but part of your job is to stir your audience and get them interested to hear upcoming speakers.

This could include a startling statistic, a quotation, a story about the wedding day, an interesting fact about the wedding or reception location, or an interesting connection of the date in history to the wedding.

Example

How do you know when you have grown up? — When you’ve come of age to get married? When you’ve come of age to see your children get married? My wife says that if I came of age to see my grandchildren get married, I still wouldn’t be “grown-up”. But, seeing Sarah get married today, she has most certainly grown up and into someone I am, and have always been, very proud to call my daughter.

Welcome and Thanks

Time for the formalities. Welcoming the audience and acknowledging one or more VIPs, in-laws, those who have travelled long distances, absent family and friends, and others will complete this necessary part of your speech and have everyone feeling part of the group.

Example

Good evening everyone. Thank you all for being here today. A special thanks goes out to those of you who have had long and difficult journeys. I know it means a great deal to Sarah and Jake that you’re here with them today. I’d also like to thank everyone on behalf of Sarah and Jake for your generosity and your gifts. Your feelings and messages of goodwill have undoubtedly given Sarah and Jake the best possible start to their marriage. And Jake — a big thank you for turning up at the right venue on time!

Open

A transition from the start and into the body of your speech. Some may launch straight into stories about the bride or groom, but this is a place to add a personal touch, relate the day’s events to your own life, and keep the audience’s interest up. If you wrote a theme, this is a great place to get your message out there.

Short Example

I have been waiting for this moment for many, many years. The feeling of giving your daughter away is overwhelming for sure. Though, if I had to choose someone for her to be with, I would not choose anyone else. It is a relief and I am very happy in knowing that she is marrying a great young man in Jake.

Long Example

Many people say that their wedding day is the happiest day of their lives. From my own experience, I am not sure whether I find this expression to be true. I was certainly happy on my wedding day, but was it the happiest day of my life? I was marrying the woman I loved, and we were with our friends and family to celebrate the day. But the two of you may find that the happiest days of your lives are the simple ones, the quiet days that the two of you spend together. And if you have children one day, you might share some of your happiest days with your children. To me, some of the happiest days of my life include simply sitting in the house with Susan. Sometimes we are talking. Other times, we didn’t need to talk. But, you will have times when you will ask — how did I get to be so lucky? Those are the happiest days of my life. I hope that this is only the beginning for you two and that your happiest days together are yet to come.

Your Relationship with the Bride

Time to focus on your daughter, make her feel special, and relate your relationship with her to the context of the wedding. This may be an opinion, a feeling, a story or two, or a combination of these. The key to winning with this section is to make your daughter and the audience feel “warm and fuzzy”, having related your relationship to the wedding day.

Example

For as long as we both can remember, Sarah’s Mum and I always knew that Sarah would achieve great things. She is smart, determined, and hardworking. But happiness? That is not something that can be guaranteed. Even as a young girl, Sarah was accomplishing wonderful things. But — that was not everything to her mother and me. The thing that we wanted the most was for her to be happy, because success without happiness is not success at all. Sarah, we can see on your face that you are very happy today, and I wish for you all the happiness in the world as you continue along this journey.​

The Groom

Now to focus on the groom. Similar to your section about the bride, the purpose here is to make the groom shine for just a moment. Depending on your relationship with the groom, it is a great place to add some humour. You may wish to talk about how you met the groom, a time where you knew the couple would get married, or a joke or two about the responsibilities of a husband and son-in-law. As long as everyone has a good time with this section, you can’t go wrong.

Example

Now, I can say, without a doubt, that Jake will be a fantastic, doting husband. But — I have yet to determine what kind of son-in-law he will turn out to be. Will he come around to do the gardening, wash the car and mow the lawn — or will I have to do it myself? In all honesty, Sarah has found the perfect partner in Jake, and I am thrilled he has become a part of our family.

Close

Round off by sending a loving message to the couple, best wishes for the future, and of course a toast! If you’re worried about the length of your speech, you can quickly finish up. Otherwise, you may choose to finish with a lengthier quote, opinion and/or a funny anecdote about marriage.

Example

Sarah and Jake I do not need to tell you two to take care of each other. I am confident that you both will. I wish you many happy years together. Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses. To the bride and groom!

Delivery

Consider how you are going to deliver your speech. Are there areas to pause, to change your tone, to speak louder? A great speech deserves to be delivered well. If you need tips and tricks on how best to deliver your speech, check out our Resources pages.

Summing Up

You’ve kicked off the show, so to speak, said everything that needed saying, and you’ve primed the audience for what’s to come. Well done!

Below, you’ve got your structure and an idea of what to include in your speech. But, it can be hard to come up with ideas. If you want to get maximum bang-for-buck for your time, visit our Father of the Bride Hub or free Father of the Bride Speech Generator. Create your speech in minutes using content written by professional speechwriters.

Originally published at https://www.speechform.com.au on July 26, 2020.